Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
