If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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