but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
