Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
