Can Purell be used as lube?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Houston, we have a blender
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
