i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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