By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
me + whiskey = a bad person
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
