I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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