Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
