party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
