fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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