Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
