Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
