Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
