Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
