Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
