yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
