when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
