Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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