The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I FOUND THE LEGS
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I want a musical about memes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
