I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
