his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
