And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
