i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
