Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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