I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
