she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
