Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bring me that man meat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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