If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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