she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize