Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
