And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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