nutella sex= disaster
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
