I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
