I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
