it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
