Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
