just come out here and I will go home with you...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
