I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
