dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
