I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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