I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ketchup is God's man juice
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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