I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A+ Viking dick
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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