Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
