**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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