and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
