you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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