I can't watch pbs sober anymore
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
