i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
