DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
