Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
