have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
