Yo dont text me then not text me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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