I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
