And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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