dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
