Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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