I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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