I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
