You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize