it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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