Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
