You're completely useless in the revolution.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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