what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
