He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
