I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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