the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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