he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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