My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize