thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
