If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
