So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
