why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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