hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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