Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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