is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
